I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
