i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
