Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I look better un-naked...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
