i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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