I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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