Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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