I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
