I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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