Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
