Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
