We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
