I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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