I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
