a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
