dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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