Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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