Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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