So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
