Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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