butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
