Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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