and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
