just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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