Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
