i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize