One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
