i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
