hotel room ftw
You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's Friday. Sex?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
