Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
