if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
