I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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