That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Damn victory sex feels great
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
