Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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