my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
