i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
