sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
