I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
