yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
