You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
