That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
