well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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