when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
