i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
