ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
