it hurts more in the daytime
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
