My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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