I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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