Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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