Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
