I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
honey bunches of taint.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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